“President Trump’s plan to destroy the hard-fought clean water protections that safeguard public health all US communities continues apace. After all, it is not really “the swamp” in Washington, DC that Trump wants to drain. With Pruitt’s help, Trump wants to deplete all the real swamps, rivers, lakes, streams and wetlands, and replace them with profitable streams of pollution.”

John J. O’Grady, President, AFGE National Council #238

To all of our amazing AFGE 238 bargaining unit employees, I am pleased to present to you a draft of a memo I have prepared for our slick new EPA Administrator, Number 14 himself, E. Scott Pruitt!

Dear Team,

Every spring, Congress designates Public Service Recognition Week. I am reminded how your perseverance at U.S. EPA seems unwavering even while I defended President Donald J. Trump’s deregulation and polluting agenda to the Congress. In fact, it is a bit annoying.

We may have gotten off on the wrong foot as political appointees would never openly condemn career public servants or “holdovers” from previous administrations for enforcing clean air and water regulations. However, with you guys and gals, we have made an exception!

The free market has spoken. Even today’s 3.9 percent unemployment rate shows a thriving economy under the White House’s vague promises. Please do not decry my leadership. I am no less inclined to pollute the air you breathe and contaminate the water you drink. Nor do we criticize science. After all, we have a job to do for our customers, and just what does science have to do with it?

“Your hard work does go unnoticed, and I want you to know that I am proud to serve President Trump. Unfortunately, part of the job is putting up with you tree-huggers.”

President Trump agrees that Public Service Recognition Week is the fitting time to streamline our agency. Fewer public employees are needed at EPA as the role of government is not to create jobs, but to increase stock prices. Frankly, though, I find myself conflicted. Though most other bureaucrats are overly grateful to take this opportunity to thank federal public servants for all they do on behalf of our great Nation, we feel regulations have placed an undue burden on industry for decades. So, just cut that out!

First and foremost, this administration sees itself as rescuing the free market from unnatural constraints that hinder earnings by means of regulatory burdens. Why, just recently I gave a hardship waiver to one of my billionaire friends in Wisconsin. That will NOT be the exception.

On the other hand, Public Service Recognition Week recognizes America’s customers among coal, gas, oil, nuclear and the chemicals industries. After all, which is more important: The health and safety of 320 million odd Americans; or employing the next generation of workers in traditional roles as miners, oil riggers, and embalmers (we are, after all, cognizant of escalating health risks, but that is good for business!).

Every day, I have the esteemed pleasure of witnessing your remarkable contributions and successes. Even during difficult times, you continue innovating and finding solutions to complex issues. Most of all, I appreciate your willingness to train your replacements, but SORRY, there won’t be any!

Your hard work does go unnoticed, and I want you to know that I am proud to serve President Trump. Unfortunately, part of the job is putting up with you tree-huggers.

With thanks,

Scott Pruitt
14th Administrator
U.S. Environmental Protection Agency